wtf at the W

This past weekend whilst in Miami, we stayed at the W. Why? Because we are ballers. That's why.

Except none of us expected to fork over TWENTY SIX fat ones for one tiny mimosa.

Don't get me wrong. The strawberry was cut just perfectly to garnish our glass.

Only our glasses weren't glass. They were plastic.

And I'm almost positive that wasn't Dom Perignon in my drank.

We may think we're shot callers but we clearly aren't ballers. At least not at the W pool side bar.

girl talk

don't get nervous, boys. i am simply referring to the stupid board game I used to play as a girl (I am a woman now and would never play this game. actually, that's false. I would play it in a heart beat, and I still hope Bill answers my Dream Phone).

This was a game of truth or dare. if you did something wrong, you had to wear a sticker zit.

here's my thing. why did this ever seem cool? why would anyone sit around wearing sticker zits on their face?

truth tuesday: i'd rather just play a game of naughty truth or dare with a boy then sit around with a bunch of girls wearing sticker zits.

tweet tweet? rockin' robin?

i have to confess. I have joined twitter for the second time. And i still don't get it. like, what is the point?

on another note, facebook is about to make this damn timeline mandatory. not sure i like that either.

the interwebs are starting to get freakay.

thought(s) for the day

I think about the torture he endured. I think about that cross and what it really means. I think about the selflessness of those last breaths. I think about the betrayal and the rooster crowing. I think about the curtain ripping. I think about the fear. The uncertainty. The purity. The forgiveness. The compassion. The blind faith. The one million things I don't, yet want, to know about this man. And what it really all comes down to. All of this takes my breath away. And breaks my heart into a thousand pieces.

Love advice from dad

"Meredith, if you ever get jilted by another boy, just go straight to the dentist and get some laughing gas." ~ dad's Sunday night love advice


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

meredith, i have a question

[note: this is a real conversation over the phone. oh how I wish it were over txt]

Caller: Meredith, I have a question after reading your blog.
Meredith: uh oh. i feel nervous.
Caller: what is a handy?
Meredith: I feel embarrassed. You should ask the man in your life.
Caller: I asked my daughter. Is it a handi wipe?
Meredith: no. I feel real embarrassed. It's dirty. It's inappropriate.
Boy at my house: I will tell her what it is!

I believe this suffices for an awkward moment prize.

good deals

everyone knows the deeze loves a good deal. the only problem is, if there are too many good deals going on at once, it's hard for me to keep up. When I say it's hard for me to keep up, I really mean it's hard for my wallet to keep up. And my mom monitors her credit card statement closely. Any mysterious charge that she KNOWS she didn't make, she immediately calls wanting to know why I've been shopping on her dime (this has only happened once or twice in my life).

At any rate, this week is a week where I'm having some financial conflicts within my head. You see, Living Social has Glamour Shots on sale. For $20, I could get $100 to spend on: Photo Session, Makeup Application, and Prints (Pay $20) or a Boudoir Photo Shoot with Makeup, Hair, and Wardrobe Change, Plus a Two-Image Framed Collage Portrait ($20).



Now. This is a good deal. I've always wanted to do Glamour Shots (proof I was deprived as a child. I have yearnings for these types of things). And even better is this deal includes a boudoir sesh! Who doesn't want to sit in their hankies for twenty bucks?! I really hope Glamour Shots has improved since Deb sold them to Napoleon's uncle. Otherwise, this may not be such a good deal. Sitting in your hankies is one thing but sitting in your hankies wearing a borrowed acid washed jean jacket is a whole other ballgame. Not to mention finding someone to give your framed portrait to. (Side note. Please good glamour shot images and count the number of jean jackets. You won't get anything else done today because you'll be counting for the rest of your life!)

But let's not forget the other good deals this week. For only twelve smackaroos, you can own your own shake weight.
Now, I don't know what you're thinking but I am thinking that this joker definitely got that buff by shaking his weight. No way would anyone mess with him when he's shaking his weight around. A guy that big could take you any day. All from shaking his weight and not looking like he's been passing out handys right and left. Plus you can tell by his face that he is serious about his shake weight (he actually kind of looks like my cousin Tyler, but we won't tell him that). I've been looking for a new workout regime. One that I could really stick to, really become good at, and possibly even train others. So why would I not take advantage of this good deal?

Amongst other things for me to consider: a portable hot dog steamer and a Scandavian elbow glove koozie. I mean seriously. Be still my beating heart because my wallet CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE.