this is what i get for being a heif

this is what you look like after you go on a wild goose chase for ice cream.

today was free cone day at ben and jerry's (please hold tight for a forthcoming post about my misery that involves something else of one ben and one jerry). Art called at 9p to tell me Ben and Jerry's was open till 11 and he was coming to pick me up. I was so excited! I mean, I literally jumped out of the bathtub, put on my boots and waited with bated breath for the call that he was here. we drove to Ben and Jerry's up the road only to find out they were closed. At 9p on free cone day. Though the website said 10 for this location, they closed at 9. No worries we said, we'll go to the other store, next to the colleges, because the website says they close at 11. Only, they closed at 9 too. As we drove away, middle fingers in the air (because let's face it. no matter how old you get, sometimes flippin' the bird as you peel outta the parking lot just feels.so.good), we remembered that NC State has its own ice cream shop - THE CREAMERY!!!!! The ice cream is made from the cows at the vet school. I'm talking this is the best freakin' ice cream known to man. It's the only reason I go to the North Carolina State Fair (ok that's a false truth. everyone knows I go to look at the carnies too). The Creamery is in the library, but that isn't a problem if you're not an NC State student because they have a walk up window! I literally skipped to the window I was so excited. Only, the window closed at 10 and if we wanted to participate between 10p-1a, we had to walk around and enter through the library's main doors. As we walked around, I confided in Art that I was getting that feeling in the pit of my stomach...you know, the one you get when you try to use your 10 yr old student id at the movies. the one you get when you just know that somehow, on this random tuesday night, you're going to get caught doing something you shouldn't be doing. Art told me I needed to calm down. We looked like college kids. I told him it had been awhile since I'd been kicked out of NC State's library and the last time I got kicked out, well, I just knew this wasn't going to turn out well. We waited and we watched. Learning to blend in is an easy task. And we were saddened when we saw we needed an id to get into the library. We tried to sweet talk the security guard but he wouldn't budge. I even told him I had an id but had left it at home. No bueno. All we freakin' wanted to do was walk through the metal detectors and right into the ice cream shop. Not even 50 feet away. It was so close I could hear the cows mooing! Denied. No ice cream for us. Downtrodden, we drove to Cook Out. Cook Out is open for like 24 hours a day or something ridiculous like that. We pulled up to Cook Out only to have literally 36 people in line in front of us. I said it was time to just go kill ourselves. As we tried to leave, we learned the only way out of the parking lot was through the drive thru line. WE WERE FORCED TO ORDER A MILKSHAKE. After 1.5 hours of wild goose chasing, we were forced to go through the drive thru and we didn't even get what we had originally set out to get. i told art this was something that would happen to my brother.

then i told art that when i was in middle school, i had a key chain that said "it's hard to be me. but someone's got to do it."

i should have held onto it because damn it, if that weren't the freaking truth on this tuesday night in april, 2011.