happy valentine's day

I love valentine's day - not because I usually have a valentine (I don't), and not because I like buying myself flowers (confession: I do), but really it's because it's kind of like christmas. You can eat nothing but crap all day and not feel bad about it. I mean, you may feel bad - like your heart may feel like it's going to explode. and your stomach prob will explode. but your mind will not.

to make sure my day got started off on the right foot, I went by the Chick where I was given a
heart.shaped.biscuit.



Winning.

treasures in heaven. (a long post)

One of my fave songs of all time is Burlap to Cashmere's "Treasures in Heaven." This song is based off one of my fave lines in Scripture: Matthew 6:20-21. "But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there you heart will be also." Think about it. Store up treasures in heaven. Because where your treasure is, there your heart is also. What a great concept. Way to go Jesus. Easier said than done.

I've been journaling, thinking and praying about a lot recently what Jesus meant when he said we should store up treasures in heave. what he meant when he said:

"I was hungry and you gave me something to eat. I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink. I was a stranger and you invited me in. I needed clothes and you clothed me. I was sick and you looked after me. I was in prison and you came to visit me."

You cannot tell me this does not speak loudly to you (well, I guess you could. But I am telling you now I won't believe you). My friend Kylie wrote an awesome blog about living in excess today. It really tugged at my heart strings when she wrote

"The more I have been digging into God's word, I realize he is really serious about all of scripture- not just the easy ones to hear. I'm pretty sure we are actually supposed to clothe the naked, feed the hungry, care for the orphans, come to the aid of the widow and the oppressed. This is not something that some Christians are supposed to do. He even goes as far as to say he will separate those who did not feed him, clothe him, visit him, bring justice for him, and those will "depart because you did not know me". Could it be, we get to know Jesus more intimately as we serve the "least of these"?...Behind us sat a refugee family from Chad. A woman and her 5 kids who escaped Chad as their village got attacked. She watched her husband machete-d as they fled. She had acid of some sort poured on her body, and her face and hands bear those scars. She only has a few non-functioning fingers remaining. The contrast of it all was right there in front of me. And I felt shame, sadness and disgust. I did not feel like this was the life Jesus came to die for, this "abundant life". No, she had the life abundant, she was praising the Lord with all her might, dancing, shouting, and I sat there with my 90$ jeans and our 500$ iPads."

She's so right. That picture at the top? That's Silya, my little Tanzanian girl. Every month, my "support" is automatically drafted from my checking account. A few times a year I send her gifts and handwritten letters. Am I really making a difference in her life? I don't know. But the more I grow spiritually and the more I really search the depths of my being and what it means to me to be a Christian, the more aware I become. The more awake I become. Let's face it, we live in a very self-absorbed world. It's all about keeping up with the Benjamins (who ARE the benjamins anyway? are they an old version of the kardashians?). It's all about getting to the next level, getting that raise. Buying that big ole' house. driving that fancy car. Having those designer jeans and those red soled shoes. I could go on and on but I think we all know what it is to want more. Somewhere along the way, we lost sight of what is important. And our status - our worth - as humans became tied to the price tag on our clothes and the numbers in the bank.

I've been there. Part of me still is, but I like to think that as I grow spiritually, the less excessive I am. That I would have no problem leaving it all behind. That if I were called to, part of me wouldn't think about all the money I had wasted in this other life. I used to pay an ENTIRE pay check to live in 700 square foot condo downtown. At one point I owned FIFTEEN pairs of designer jeans. I don't even wear jeans that often so why would I own that many pairs? I can pretty much promise you that my rear end didn't look better just because the label screamed look at me. And as much as I hate to admit it, there was a point in my life where if you couldn't contribute to my baller status, then I probably wouldn't associate with you regularly. My life was all about what event I was attending in whose suite, what professional athletes I would be schmoozing with, and how I would not be picking up the tab thank you very much. I feel like there was a lot of glitter and there was a lot of gold. but there was not a lot of substance. But as He always does, the good Lord shook me until I responded.

I often lament that being a big girl is so hard. It's so easy to say woe is me and to complain that I feel like I never have as much money as I want. And then I look around at all my furniture. All the food in my fridge. My electricity bill. My cable television. My shiny Volvo. My designer shoes. My little Barbara who will never go hungry again. All the things that I have that I don't need (other than Barb. I need her). And I feel sad. Sad that even as much as I want to think I am growing spiritually, I am still so much of this world. Sad that even though I have so much around me, and I have never wanted for anything, that I still feel like I need more. I think about Katie and how she gave it all up. And how she is such an inspiration. I've never felt the call to be a long term missionary abroad. I've always known I was better suited, long term at least, for local ministry. But I do envy those who have the call to go abroad and serve. Do they ever want for more? I'm sure they do. But just as I am surrounded by things, they are surrounded also. Surrounded by less. The things they want for are things I already have: clean water, enough food, medicine. You get the point.

So maybe instead of having a new year's resolution, the challenge should be to have a life resolution. To live less in this world and with less. To take up the cross and really follow Jesus. To really feed the hungry. To really clothe the naked. To really be in communion with the least of these (and I'm not talking about being a prison pen pal, even though that would be a fun way to spread the gospel).

Don't get me wrong. I want that one particular Louis Vuitton more than I want pretty much anything else (ok, maybe not ANYTHING else...) but I guess when it comes down to it, I like to think I'd make a different choice.

stolen from www.projectbabyblog.com

*At Roosters with Meredith & Lisa

Tinsley,

When I step back and look at your life, I am amazed at the amount of GREAT WOMEN surrounding you already. Not even a year old and you have so many strong, beautiful ladies to look up to and lean on. These women love you like their own. It makes me feel so PROUD and secure about your future. I know that no matter what happens to me, there will be so many women ready and willing to help you through this crazy, beautiful life.

Nana will always have your back. She will FIGHT for you. She will give you confidence and self-assurance. She will hunt down anyone that ever hurts you - Nana is packing heat. And Nana loves to shop!

Grammy will always be up for lunch or pedicures or just about anything. She will always be a listening ear and will find a way to make you feel better about anything that may be troubling you.

Aunt Lauren will teach you many things. She is brilliant. Take her up on book and music recommendations. She will be another great listener for you…she will help you find answers when things are unclear and she will always make you laugh.

Aunt Katie will help you with boys. She will teach you how to bake yummy cakes and desserts. Lean on her when you have questions about hair & makeup or are confused about becoming a real-deal “woman.”

Great Aunt Diane is a gentle spirit. She is a place of calm when things seem out of control. She’s also a great cook!! If you ever need some perspective or peace of mind, stop by for a visit.

“Aunt” Leanna will crack you up. She will always have something new and funny to show you. She will ALWAYS be there for you…anytime…no matter what is going on. She has a gentle spirit, but a strong will.

Great Aunt KiKi (Kip) is always up for a good time. Call her when you need some girl time. Aunt KiKi is business-savvy and determined. She can tell you all about antiques, designer clothing, and how to tell real gold from fake.

Auntie Meredith will teach you awesome dance moves. She will show you how to live your life - how to LIVE in the moment and use each day to it’s fullest potential. Mer Mer will also sit around, watch movies, eat pizza, and drink strawberry wine with you.

Auntie Lisa will be your creative outlet. She will teach you about true friendship. She will laugh at your jokes and always look out for your best interests. Lisa will always be ready for a party.

…and there are so many others, Tinsley. So many honorary “aunts” who will be present for many of your big life events. You don’t know it yet, but BOY you are blessed!! It’s taken me many years to see these blessings in my own life…I hope you can take hold of these relationships and cherish them.

“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It’s a whole different way of thinking.”

~ Elayne Boosler

Love,

Mama

reasons you know i'm super awesome: part 2

I love Jessica Simpson (side note. a quick google of merdeezy and jessica simpson proves I've written about her before but i'm really too tired to find them). Now, I realize one would think that loving jessica simpson would give me street cred. But surprisingly, it does not. I have found myself defending this position more times times than I have why I am a Republican. I even had a boss once tell me that it was a good thing I didn't put "jessica simpson" as a hobby on my resume...uhh. Sorry but if loving Jessica Simpson is a reason not to hire me, then I don't want to work. ever.

I once got kicked out of the Park Hotel in Charlotte for following Jessica there. I just KNEW she'd be there after her free concert at UNCC (yes. I am so awesome I saw her for free. or maybe she was just that bad...). The douchenozzle that was the Bellman at the Park said "ma'am are you staying here?" I looked down at my Sambas and flannel shirt, looked up at him in his tux and didn't even try to flirt. I knew my finely tuned flirting wasn't going to help in this case. He told me I needed to leave. I said "but my friend Jessica Simpson is staying here tonight! We're having a sleepover." Needless to say, I didn't get to have a sleepover with Jess that night.

And then there was the time Jenn and I drove to Wilmington to scalp tickets to her show - and paid double the face value just to have floor seats. And then there were the times (before Bachelor) when Kristin and I watched Newlyweds every Wed. night and ate bbq chicken pizza and drank strawberry wine. And then there was the time Nick and Jessica got divorced and we watched the wedding video from their wedding and cried. And then there were the times I dressed up as her. That's right folks. How many times can you say you've dressed up as Jessica Simpson? And then there was the time an ex boyfriend asked me what kind of engagement ring I wanted. And I showed him my Jessica Simpson replica engagement ring and wedding band set.

aching on atkins

my friend kathleen and i decided to do the atkins diet. now, before you totally freak out (and trust. i got the freak outs on facebook), we're only doing the first two weeks to jump start the weight loss process (and to fit into my smokin' hot valentine's day dress. well, me. not her. it's barely going to fit me so there's no way it will fit both of us).

except today was day two. and i felt like complete and udder doodoo.

so i cheated. i went to wich wich. got myself a hula, a bag o chips and a mr. pibb. i decided to eat there so i could refill my mr. pibb as much as i pleased.

let's face it. i eat like a 7th grade boy. i can't just quit being a 7th grade boy cold turkey.

upon realization that i could get right back on the wagon tomorrow, i went to krispy kreme for dessert.

and now I shall go to sleep. happy. and full.

finally! a resolution!

my cousin once told me (while discussing marriage) that if you are both busy serving the other, then there isn't much room for strife.

i like that.

i think i'm going to try harder to serve others this year. if i'm a servant to others, there won't be much room for strife.

if i'm serving, then i'm showing love.

i like that.

reasons you know I am super awesome: part 1

[note: thank you emily for inspiring this blog post]

We are currently on Season 16 of the Bachelor. Please note this does not include 8 seasons of the bachelorette. Every season of the Bachelor (or bachelorette for that matter) promises to be the most dramatic season ever. My heart honestly cannot palpitate anymore than it has for the past 32 seasons of my life. I get really, really into this show and I am.not.ashamed. Despite the fact that I have applied for the show 3 (THREE) times, I once told a boyfriend that if he ever wanted to see me on a Monday night, then he best plan to be at my parents', err roommate's house every Monday to watch the Bachelor(ette) with me. and my mom. and he better not expect to talk to me except during commercial time.

I invented this little thing called a Bachelor Party while I was in college (queue exhibit a):

Ignore the America blanket (for the record, that thing was more fabulous than a "fuck yeah america" shirt. I wonder what happened to it) and let's focus on the cake. The cake with Bob Guinney's face on it. Bachelorette Season 1 contestant and star of the show of Bachelor Season 4. I distinctly remember getting into an argument with the baker at Harris Teeter because she told me she could not put a copyrighted image on a cake. Yes my friends, I yelled at the bakery lady and told her I would take my business elsewhere. Like to the Food Lion down the street. They definitely didn't give a damn about Bob's face. And that cake was awesomesauce, especially his face made of sugar.

I think my friend Alana thought my obsession had gotten a little out of control when, upon arriving in Vail, I demanded to go to the firehouse to see Ryan. Ryan Sutter, friend of the aforementioned Bob and winner of not only the first season of the Bachelorette, but also Trista Rehn's heart (Trista, by the way, was the loser of the first season of the Bachelor). Queue Exhibit B:

I had no problem knocking on the door of that fire station and asking if Ryan was there (and if I could slide down the pole, but that's neither here nor there). This cat said no, he was on leave until the wedding aired on tv, but I could have my picture made with his hat if I wanted. Did I want to? You bet I did. And so I did.

When I moved to FL, I introduced my FL girls to Bachelor Parties. Every Monday, Tracie would cook for us and we would watch the Bach. Every Monday we would talk about the girls (or the guys), how inappropes they were, and who should pick who. And don't even get me started on the Bachelor Pads. Or Steve of www.realitysteve.com fame. He's a real tool and yes I know for a fact that he is. How do I know? Because we have had some terse email conversations about the show. And no, I have never met the man.

I think it's fair to say that the Bachelor(ette) is my thing. I'm a little into it. I've spent a lot of my Mondays watching it. but let's be honest. when was the last time YOU looked away from a train wreck?