these ain't fabulous like you said they was

the other day, I sold some pants on EBay. I do this from time to time. I clean out my closet and put the nicer things on Ebay. We're talking things that have been worn once or twice. Or never at all. Unlike some people, I don't put my trash on ebay for some unsuspecting soul to purchase. I use the same listing template and just change the actual details. But the listing always starts out with the word "Fabulous!" I mean, because everything I own is fabulous (except apparently my outfit today. I've been told I look like a 14 year old that didn't brush my hair).

This chick buys my Fabulous Winter White Banana Republic pants for eleven bucks (and that included shipping). Eleven dollars folks. Now that is a deal if I've ever heard of one. Especially since I'm sure I paid full price for them and I can count on one hand how many times I wore them. Why I thought it was a good idea to buy fabulous winter white wool pants in Florida beats me. She gets her pants (mind you she lives in Alabama and it's probably hotter than hades there right now so it's not like she'll be wearing them any time soon) and immediately emails me and says "these pants aren't fabulous like you said they was. they are peeling." now, I don't know what this means. How do pants peel? Did she go to grammar class? Whatever. If she is that hard up for her money back, I said I'd refund her dolla dolla bills when I got my pants back. Next thing I know, she's escalated it to Ebay and says she hasn't heard from the Seller. I know she isn't blind because if she could determine my pants were peeling, then she could sure as heck check her email and see my message. So Ebay emails me and says I need to refund the money when I get the pants back. I replied that I had already told the Buyer I would do that, but just for formalities sake, I would tell them too. I got home late last night and there were my pants, balled up into an envelope. At 9:45a today, I get an email from this b wanting to know where her money is. I emailed her back, told her she was insufferable, that I don't work from home and got the pants late last night, and that it wasn't even 10a and she was already harassing me. oh, and that her money was being returned to her. She wrote me back and said "I don't care what your problems are. I want my money back." What part of me refunding her money thinks she isn't getting it back? I'm so confused.

Now, I ain't no mathematical genius but it seems to me it would make more sense to lose your eleven bucks then to return them UPS overnight mail. I looked her up on facebook. She's exactly everything I thought she was. The only thing she was missing was a sign that says "I ain't fabulous like I say I is"

oh, and as a side note. i told my brother this story. he has like 50 million facebook friends that he doesn't know. and of COURSE he has a mutual friend with this crazy ebay B. of COURSE. now that is just fabulous.