Dear Johnny:I'm so glad you've been indicted, you deceitful bastard. Although, spending the rest of your life looking at the gem your mistress clearly is might be punishment enough for you. I've got both middle fingers in the air for you today and a box of soaps on the ropes headed your way. Breck Girls with delightful Southern accents go far in prison, or so I've heard. As much as I hate your guts, I might actually come visit you in the pokey. I've got a lot of questions and since I've always wanted a prison pen pal, perhaps ole baby blues is the way to go. You said you wanted to be a champion for the people you have fought for all your life - the regular people. Well here's three cheers to you for being the champion of something. Granted, it's the champion of lying assholes all around the world but hey, all that matters is you're a champ.
You should be ashamed of yourself. Hang in there, champ. I mean, does what goes around really ever come back around??
Love, Deeze.
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