Friday, December 28, 2012

30th birthdizzy: new york style

today is my mama's birthday, so i figured what better day than today to continue my own birthday blogging.

Back in November, mom and I joined other Meredith College alums (some of whom may or may not have worn Sketchers Tone Ups the entire weekend but I gotta be honest - you know their hineymo looked better than mine after all the walking we did) for a weekend in the Big Apple. Now, I love NYC. I love it the same way I love wine. I love it like I love a bad boyfriend and every time I go back, I fall in love again. And then spend the next week wishing and hoping and praying I could move there. I was so excited to show mom MY new york...in between pre-planned Meredith College activities of course.

On Friday, after stalking the Five Guys workers and ordering us both a cheeseburger at 530a and arriving in the City at 8a, I learned that I am apparently a food tour snob because I was not impressed with the food on foot tour we did (although the shrimp wontons at Go Sushi in Hell's Kitchen were off da chain). We saw Matthew Broderick in "Nice Work If You Can Get It." It was laugh out loud funny but I will say that Matthew Broderick is really just one grown up Ferris Beuhler and I hope he hangs on to SJP for dear life.


On Saturday, Mom and I opted out of the Sept. 11 memorial (I know, I know but honestly, I didn't want to be sad on my trip) and instead stood in line to get half priced tickets to any matinee available. I had planned to take her to my fave cuban restaurant IN THE WHOLE WORLD but we couldn't do that and a matinee, so we ended up scarfing down some craposuine in Times Square to kill time before our show. We saw Mamma Mia and oh my goodness was it awesome! We laughed, we cried and we marveled at how the lead was really the understudy. I mean, how good was the lead if this lady was only the understudy?! We got a real kick out of the Abba concert at the end. I'm currently shopping for a costume for Halloween now. That night, I introduced her to Tao. We were both secretly hoping to see some famous people, but we also are not dumb. We knew no one of any real importance would be there during out 630p reservations (other than us of course). Mom put on a good show, but I'm not sure she'll be returning to Tao anytime soon. I tell you who will be returning though and that person is me. I mean hello. Look at this fortune cookie! It was filled with different mousses and although the fortunes themselves were lame, the mousses (mousses? meece?) were not.

Sunday, we got up for our Rockette's Christmas Music Spectacular experience. Now, both mom and I have seen the Rockettes but seeing them at Radio City Music Hall is a totally different experience. And seeing them in 3D? Even more awesomesauce. I've always wanted to be a Rockette and the simple truth of why I was not a Rockette occurred to me while visiting the 1930s facilities in the basement: it was all my parents' fault. I mean, if they hadn't let me quit ballet when I was 6, then I am quite certain I would have gone on to become a Rockette. Shame on them.



However, I have been keeping a secret this whole blog post. The highlight of our trip was seeing the Naked Cowboy on Saturday while milling around Times Square (this guy was way more exciting than the protest outside the Nicarauguan embassy. Shocker, I know). Mom had said she hoped we saw the Naked Cowboy and I gotta say, I was pretty impressed with her thought process. She's more proper than I am and seeing the Naked Cowboy had never even occurred to me. On Friday, the black Naked Cowboy jumped out in front of our tour bus outside of the theater, and while his little jig was creative, he was obviously NOT the Naked Cowboy. We saw him Saturday and when we did, we both yelped and leaped and she will tell you I am exaggerating, but my mother's arthritic knees all of a sudden were healed as we made our way to the front of the crowd. Much to my disappointment, she wouldn't go near him but she did become quite the photographer as I got close, put money in his guitar and rubbed his tight little booty.

And in true Debbie fashion, mom told me I better not touch her again until I had washed my hands. "You don't know where his hiney has been after all." You do have a point mom, you do have a point.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

stranger snuggling

i learned recently (ok, so I was told...so it may or may not be true because it's not like I have snoped this shiz) that in the 1800's, you could rent half a bed. You know...you may not be able to afford the whole bed but you might be able to afford half and they would couple you with another half to make a whole...not like that people.

this made me laugh.

can you imagine if you rented HALF A BED and got paired with a stranger, and that stranger wanted to snuggle?

but you know what was worse than that thought?

i realized I would be the stranger wanting to snuggle.

deezy don't like one side of the bed. or only half the covers.