Monday, March 23, 2015

snow schmow

my canadian friends always make fun of me because when it snows, the state of NC shuts down. This time though, not only did we shut down, but our governor declared it a state of emergency before the snow even fell.

but imma tell you something. when it snows and you aren't prepared because it doesn't occur to you that your power might go out and if it does go out that it might stay out and you have nothing at your home to eat that doesn't require preparation of something with power not even peanut butter and your house is surrounded by trees so it's dark even during the day, well, it is a state of emergency.

i woke up at 130a to go potty and I am glad I did, because when the bathroom light wouldn't go on in Bill's bathroom (yes...we do not share a bathroom but we do share a commode at night), I knew something was wrong. I called the power company and reported our outage. I then proceeded to unpack the entire fridge and freezer into coolers and put them out on the front porch. I was so proud of myself and my knowledge at being a pioneer.

but my proudness was short lived, as it didn't take much for me to realize that a good pioneer I do not make. (Bill on the other hand says he never considered for even one minute I would be a good pioneer.) I think it was around noon, and my 50th (no lie) call to the power company that I started to cry. I was cold. I was hungry.  I had no snow boots, only too tight ski pants, too big ski gloves and a ski coat. So I could only partially participate in outdoor activities - not that I wanted to but still. I sent bill and his dad (and his dad's truck because it's not like either of us are prepared with 4 wheel drive) to the only place open - WALMART - to get sustenance for the rest of our lives because by this point it was clear we were going to die in this snow storm. Bill suggested that while he took care of our livelihoods at the walmart, I should call some pet friendly hotels in the area just in case there was some place we could go.   Naturally, Bill wasn't excited that the only place that "seemed" to have vacancy was the umstead where rooms are upwards of $600/night and the pet fee was $200 - but that did include a pet bed and pet bowl! Obviously, I had already figured out how we would pay for one dog, sneak two dogs in, and then bill could babysit while i went to the spa to relax and destress from the snow. Bill on the other hand said we could just continue to rough it. But miraculously, at 5 o'clock and the power still wasn't back on, the Hampton Inn must have had a cancellation because on my third try, there was room at the inn!

and all the angels sang glory hallelujah. and so did i.

we packed very hastily, including our walmart livelihoods, and treaded carefully to the hampton inn. they had snacks! and free beer and wine! dogs galore! heat! light! technology!!!!

and i was so happy i cried again.

and then i took a very hot bath in the very giant tub in our very giant presidential suite that we didn't even know the hampton inn had. but i was happy to have gone from pioneer to my more suited designation in this suite. even the peanut butter sammies i made us tasted better in the warmth and comfort of the presidential palace.

so all of that is to tell you that next time you make fun of the state of NC for shutting down in a snow storm or me for crying at the mere threat of snow? Well, that is fine. because it is true.