Not to brag, but I know I’m awesome (I mean, duh. I AM merdeezy after all). I was having a random day, and who are we kidding, the random days happen more often than not. But I decided on this particular random day to take a personality test. I chose to do the color code personality test because “it is based on human motivation rather than human behaviors…you only have one core motive or ‘color code,’ you were born with your core personality color intact, all colors are of equal importance and all colors are neither good nor bad.” YESSS! This means I have been this awesome my ENTIRE life. And NO ONE can change it. Hollaaa!
So, I take the test and basically, I have to choose words that describe me as a child. Things that make no sense why they are in a group together. Arrogrant, indecisive, perfectionist, a poor follow-through. Peaceful, carefree, decisive, loyal. Self-Critical, bossy, unfocused, avoids conflict. And the list goes on. After a series of 30 “Strengths and Limitations,” I moved on to “Situations” where I was asked how, as I child, I reacted in certain sitches. As a child, was I happy, playful, obnoxious, confident, determined, demanding, well-behaved, caring, depressed, quiet, easy-going, lazy. Was I most likely known for being opinionated, determined, bossy, compassionate, honest, unforgiving, kind, pleasant, unmotivated, charismatic, positive, undisciplined. After 15 of these type of questions, boom, I was given my color code.
Now, I don’t know much about myself as a child (other than being fabulous even as a tike), but I DO know that when I was in Pre-K, (so that’s like 4 years old), the teachers told my mom I was never going to have any friends because I was bossy. Sheesh! Personally I think they are the ones with the problem. They were clearly jealous of me and that’s why they talked trash about me to my mother. She is loyal to me so she told me (and no, it wasn’t as a way to tell me so when I was crying because everyone was mean to me and said I was bossy and couldn’t come to their birthday parties). Jerks. At any rate, I am a RED. Now, before you go getting all excited thinking this means I am ON FIRE and a VAT OF HOT LOVE, let me tell you more about the red color.
1. Reds like to have their own way, they like to be in the driver’s seat and are willing to pay the price to be in the leadership role (I’d agree. But, in the defense of all reds, who doesn’t want their own way? I have NEVER met someone who has said that someone else’s way is really a much better way than their own).
2. Reds put up a fight against being forced to do anything that doesn’t interest them. (but why would anyone, at the end of the day, be complacent enough to do something that doesn’t interest them? Especially since we all secretly want our own way).
3. Reds like to be right (duh. I have no argument for this and I cannot help it that I am right. No less than 100% of the time).
4. Reds get happy when they take home the prize (I guess THIS explains my love of sercies and freebies?)
5. Reds tend to be selfish. (I completely disagree. Self motivated, maybe, but NOT selfish).
6. Reds are uncomfortable with feelings and emotions and see this as a weakness in others. (this is probably true. I have enough emotions for you and me, so you don’t need your own).
7. Reds can be cheap (hollaaaa!)
8. Reds need to appear knowledgeable (if I weren’t always right, I wouldn’t appear knowledgeable, and then this wouldn’t be an issue)
9. Reds are highly protective. (this is loyalty. like a fox).
10. Reds are turned on (now we’re talkin) by: being competent, demanding attention and respect, being direct and brief, presenting issues in a logical manner, and being supported in their leadership…(alright, not gonna lie. This is pretty dead on. Do NOT even attempt to date me if you are not competent and if you are illogical. On that note, you need to be rational too. And support the fact that I AM THE LEADER!)
11. Reds are turned off by: (many, many things and for some reason, douche bags weren’t on this list): embarrassing them in front of others, arguing from an emotional point of give, being slow or indecisive, taking arguments personally, waiting for them to solicit your opinion. (ok this is even more dead on then my turn ons. Do NOT attempt to date me if you are emotional, irrational, slow in the head, unable to be a man and make decisions, if you get your feelings hurt of if you can’t be a man and tell me what you think without me asking you. Actually, don’t attempt to date me if you aren’t a man).
What have I learned you may ask? Well, not that much. All of the above are things I already know about myself. And accept about myself. And I think all of you need to accept about myself. This does however explain why my parents started calling me boss it all. It’s a cross between a boss and a know it all. Now, be a man and deal with it! because I.am.a.hot.vat.of.red.burning.love.