Dolla Dolla Bill Yo!

One of my fave Wyclef songs (you may wonder why I have multiple fave Wyclef songs) is “Sweetest Girl.” It’s a song about a hooker who lives for the bill. Well, know who else lives for the bill? EBAY.

See I'mma tell you like you told me
Cash rules everything around me
Singin' dollar dollar bill y'all (dollar, dollar bill y'all)
Singin' dollar dollar bill y'all (dollar, dollar bill y'all)

A few years ago, I got a notification from Ebay that they had revoked my registration because I shared a home address with a fraudulent Ebay seller. I wanted to call them up and tell that it was malarkey, but, I did share a home address with a fraudulent Ebay seller. See, my brother sold a bunch of stuff on ebay once and got the orders mixed up and sent the wrong things to the wrong people. Naturally, they got upset. As in a bunch of George Constanzas went crazy on Ebay, and coupled with the fact that my brother already had a bunch of complaints stacked against him for selling patches at inflated prices (yes, you read that right), Ebay decided to revoke his membership for a period of time. And then they revoked mine since I had the same address as him. I was so mad. I had worked so hard to have lots of stars and have a great online rep. My brother just laughed at my case and hung up the phone. For some reason, things like this don’t bother him. At all.

I took matters into my own hands and created a NEW Ebay profile so I could sell some stuff (like everyone, I think I have some awesome shiz to sell and like my mama always said: one man’s trash is another woman’s treasure). I haven’t built it quite back up to the stature that it was, BUT, I’m getting there. Until earlier this week. I received ANOTHER notification from Ebay (really? Is it someone’s job to just send out emails telling people how much they stink at being an Ebay member?). It says: Your account has been put on hold because the US $1.06 balance on your eBay account hasn't been paid.

See I'mma tell you like you told me
Cash rules everything around me
Singin' dollar dollar bill y'all (dollar, dollar bill y'all)
Singin' dollar dollar bill y'all (dollar, dollar bill y'all)

Really? My account has been suspended because I haven’t paid ONE DOLLA BILL? I don’t even know what I owe them a dolla dolla bill for, but this just really chaps my hide. I have a REALLY hard problem believing that Ebay is hurting so bad in these tough economic times that my dolla dolla bill is really going to make such a difference. Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t have a problem paying a dolla dolla bill if I owe it. But on principle, I don’t think I’m going to pay it. Not right now. I’ve got some fabulous dresses I’d like to sell, but I really don’t feel like I should have to pay a dolla dolla bill. Wait. I don’t feel like I should have my account suspended because I owe ONE FREAKING DOLLAR. I could understand if I owed ONE MILLION DOLLARS. Or even ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS. But I own one. Uno. Ein. ONE dollar. One.single.solitary.dollar.is.controlling.my.future.as.the.greatest.ebay.seller.of.all.time.

See I'mma tell you like you told me
Cash rules everything around me
Singin' dollar dollar bill y'all (dollar, dollar bill y'all)
Singin' dollar dollar bill y'all (dollar, dollar bill y'all)

I used to be the sweetest girl too.