Tuesday, February 1, 2011

It's All Greek For Me!

Last night I received a care package in the mail. Mind you, I’m getting ready to move. But that doesn’t stop my kid sister, Eli, from sending me a box of sercies from the mountains of NC. Last time she sent me a package, it was a brand spankin’ new sorority shirt (I probably shouldn’t say that on here…and heck yes she has taught me the secret handshake). I have always wanted to be a sorority girl and wear Greek letters all over my person, but there was no Greek Life at the school I went to. I managed to join a Christian sorority at a nearby coed university, but that’s a whole different blog all together. So anyway, ever since Eli joined Phi Mu (not Phi Moo like rumor has it), I’ve been able to live out my sorority girl dreams vicariously through her. So much so that once, while buying a pair of slightly scandalous knee high boots, the very cute and very much younger than me kid checking me out asked me where I went to school (I had, as all good sorority girls do, worn my official Phi Mu shirt to the mall). I looked at him blankly until he said “Where are you a Phi Mu?” I quickly debated in my head if I wanted to lie and pick this cute boy up or if I wanted to be honest and not go to prison. I told him my sister gave me the shirt. He said that he was a TKE at another school and he knew about the Phi Mus at Appalachian. Ok 1. What does that even mean that you KNOW about the Phi Mus at App? Just what kinds of girls are these girls? And 2. TKEs were always SO cute at NC State and had the BEST parties…maybe I should say I was lying about my sister and am available for their spring formal.

Lucky for me, Eli has made it her college mission to turn me into a cute sorority girl. She may not graduate on time, but gosh darn it, I’m going to look like a sorority girl by the time she does graduate. For example: as a Christmas gift, I received a pair of Phi Mu croakies as a way to further complete my sorority girl look. Last night’s goody box was still further proof of her efforts. It was like a sorority girl starter kit all compiled into one box on my doorstep. I received one hand painted Phi Mu wooden box, an official Appalachian State cup, some game day temporary tats, some croakies, some socks, some potpourri, some Burt’s bees, a masquerade mask and a door hanger. Now, these items may seem a little strange to one or all of you, but I have come up with explanations for each item and why it is important for inclusion in my sorority girl starter kit.

1. Clearly, the Phi Mu wooden box is meant for me to keep my sercies in, or perhaps my lavalier should I ever get lavaliered or pinned one day. I do hope this happens.
2. The App State plastic cup is to be my roadie as I make my way to the next frat party or tailgate (or dinner at the sorority house. Do they still serve dinner at the sorority house? I’ve not been asked to live in one so I do not know).
3. The game day tats are important because everyone knows that if you’re for real about your sorority, you’re going to be at your tailgate on game day. You will be decked out in your finest school colors and the game day temporary tats just add flare to your already remarkable and extra cute outfit.
4. The App State croakies are to be on your backup pair of sunglasses. Because all girls want to be a sorority girl (thereby watching our every move), and because the sun never sets on a badass, you should have multiple pairs of sunglasses. The first pair will have your sorority croakies on them, and the second pair will be your school croakies so at all times you are supporting the two things you love most.
5. The socks are just cute. I was most excited to receive these socks because just the other day I said to a friend that I needed new socks but didn’t know how to buy them as I have honestly, in all my 28 years, never purchased a pair of socks for myself. I’m not sure these necessarily SHOULD go in a sorority girl starter kit, but they are great for THIS sorority girl. Especially since the yellow yarn balls on the ankles show my school spirit.
6. The potpourri I’m insecure about but I think I will put it in a little vase in my bathroom. This will help my room seem cleaner and smell better when my fraternity boy of choice comes over for some QT after the party we’re going to hit up later on.
7. Now the Burt’s Bees should be a staple for anyone, Greek or from any other country. I have to say though that I take exception to this Burt’s Bees goody pack. I’m pretty sure Eli received this for Christmas but she TOOK THE CHAP STICK OUT! I was super pumped to receive the mini blemish control stick since Santy Clause lost the one that was supposed to go in my stocking this year, but I can’t believe she took the chap stick out. Everyone knows Burt best for his lippy and my lips are going to be awfully chapped from kissing all the fraternity boys in the cold elements of App State. At least I will be blemish free. And my cuticles will look nice since she didn’t swipe the giant jar of Burt’s cuticle cream.
8. Now this red, sequined mask is curious. As sisters, we share a love of all things sequined and strange. I guess maybe one of the events of Rush this year will be a masquerade ball? I’m not sure. I secretly want to wear this to work but I’m insecure as to the reaction I may receive. And I can’t wear it to sleep because it is missing the eye covers. So clearly it is for a Rush event. I will hold tightly to this as it could very well guarantee my success as a sorority girl.
9. The door hanger is a make your own model. I’m not one for crafts but I do need people to respect my privacy when I’m burning incense and having QT with frat boys, so I better get on this right away. Oh wait, maybe this is the paddle I’m supposed to decorate? Don’t Greeks have paddles for every event?
10. I have a question. Can I wear my fave sorority event tee and croakies in the annual portrait that will sit on the wall of the sorority house? Those drapes are pretty drab and don’t show off my school spirit the way I feel they should.

At any rate, even in my move, I am going to look so cute and preppy. This was such a treat to receive. I just hope Eli doesn’t get kicked out of the sorority after her sisters read this. That would really cause a problem in the sorostituting of Merdeezy.

1 comment:

  1. LOL....another blog altogether, eh? Now THAT makes me laugh :0)