Thursday, April 21, 2011

Himmey Buffay

All three Robertson kids had their first Jimmy Buffet experience this week. It's unusual that all three of us would be experiencing the same thing for the first time at the same time, but it's true. as disgusting as that sounds. I enjoyed delicious ritas after work on Tuesday, and tonight the craziest two are enjoying God knows what in Charlotte. While I learned pretty quickly what a sheltered life I had lived, I will say that no parrot head can usurp the ridiculousness that is my older brother and younger sister.

This morning I got a flood of emails, both at work and gmail (the profanity ridden emails went to gmail, which I found mature), from my brother telling of his misery dealing with our Eli. She had apparently woken up and decided she would buy Jimmy Buffet tickets for her and Lee. She called Lee, he told her he already had a free ticket with some friends, and after screaming like a banshee, the below convo ensued. People, this is not a lie. We always knew Eli was a bit scrappy, but apparently, she's now straight gangster. And comes with a very large posse.

After telling Lee how horrible of a person he was, she told him if he saw her tonight, he better run because her friends were going to jump him. He laughed, I'm sure, and she retorted with "well you WILL see me. I'll be the girl with 3,000 friends around me." Now, if you know anything about my brother, you know that if he thinks you are stupid (which, generally, that includes everyone in the world), he will laugh in your face. So I can just imagine his reaction to her telling him a) her friends were going to jump him and b) her friends were in the thousands. Basically, all the rum punch in the world wouldn't keep this fight from going down. The best part is that secretly, Eli really does want to jump her brother. I guess she views it as a rite of passage into adulthood. Except that other than possibly in our heads, no one in our family has ever jumped anyone. So why she thinks she needs to is beyond me. Anyway, after one hangs up on the other, they do what every Robertson child does and race to be the first to reach mom on her cell phone to tattle. Yes, at 31 yrs old, Lee still tattles on his sisters. And whomever gets to mom first gets to claim victory. Lee gets her first and mom gives Lee the best advice I've ever heard. She tells him that if he saw Eli and her 3,000 friends, he better hightail it outta there because he doesn't want to get jumped. Then she reminded him it was supposed to rain anyway.

Of course, there have been reports in to mother that they have been in contact with each other at the concert. Lee has not been jumped yet. But then again, I guess the night is still young.

hide yo kids
hide yo wife
hide yo self (if your name is Lee)

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