Thursday, September 25, 2014

Mr. and Mrs. Lunes

Speaking of Rue La La, they have had a lot of luggage for sale lately. This has prompted a few conversations/reminiscings of our honeymoon to Puerta Vallarta, Mexico.

For starters, I think it is important to note that Mexico may or may not have caused me to hold the first ever temper tantrum of our relationship (don't ask Bill though because he and I have a difference in opinions when it comes to my "temper tantrums").

So, our honeymoon was gifted to us from his dad and stepmom. They have a time share and each kid had been gifted a week for their honeymoons anywhere they wanted to go in the time share network and we were cashing in on our turn! We thought about going to Hawaii, since neither of us had been, but we were working on a condensed time line and the nice places were already booked solid. We did find a hotel a mile from the beach with a murphy bed that was available, but I just wasn't too interested in sleeping on a bed that falls out of the wall for my honeymoon. So I cried.

Then Bill did the unthinkable and suggested Mexico and I cried even more. I did NOT want to go to Mexico, no matter how many nice beautiful romantic hotels Bill showed me. Let's not forget, I had been on a Ladymoon to a Sandals in Jamaica years earlier, and I wanted my honeymoon to be better than that, and that was going to be hard to beat, and I just knew if it was to be beaten, it was not going to be by Mexico. I meant, they have a drug carttel in Mexico and I wasn't trying to get killed (or do drugs) on my honeymoon. So I cried. I stamped my feet. I slammed some doors. and yelled repeatedly "I do not want to go to Mexico! Even if it is free!" (Side note: as I write this, I am surprised Bill still went on a honeymoon with me at all because it appears as though I was being ridiculous).

Well. We ended up in Mexico. Somehow I managed to see through my tears and we found a beautiful resort called Secrets in Puerto Vallarta. It is basically the Sandals of Mexico. The reviews on TripAdvisor were fabulous (we all know how I love my reviews!) and it was a new property and they had a honeymoon package where they would put a sash on your door and rose petals in the bathtub - and even though we all know I feel like hotel bathtubs are pretty creepy, the idea of it was just so romantic and I just got so excited and forgot all about how much I hated Mexico an hour earlier.

So we book our hotel and our flights and that was one more thing off the wedding to do check list. Bill said to remind him to get his luggage from his dad's house so we could take that. Well, because I am a world traveler (and have only carry on luggage), I somehow got it in my head that we could only take one suitcase PER COUPLE on an international flight. ONE SUITCASE PER COUPLE. Bill just couldn't quite understand, but just went along with it for some reason. And since we could only take one suitcase per couple, Bill asked his dad if we could just borrow his largest suitcase. And then we packed both of us for an entire week in one suitcase. I think Bill was only allowed to bring one or two pairs of pants, one pair of shoes and some bathing suits. which sounds fine when you're going to the beach, except we were going to an all inclusive and they have all those weird dress requirements for the restaurants. So Bill was just going to have to switch out his outfits and we would both wear repeats because we just were not going to pay to check an additional bag past our one suitcase per couple. (side note: it must have been wedding frenzy because the tickets clearly say 1 bag per person checked for free but that's neither here not there).

When we got there, all the English speaking Spaniards thought the last name Monday was hilarious (Bill told me to just wait till I took his name and then I would understand. And yes, sweet hubby, I too now say I am "Monday just like the day of the week" so you were right) so they referred to us as "Mr. and Mrs. Lunes." All week long. Even the card on our roses in the room said "Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Lunes." And then somehow, one of the waiters decided Bill's first name surely must be Allen. So ALL WEEK LONG it was "good morning Senor Allen. Hello Mrs. Lunes." We thought this was hysterical. Mainly because if Bill did introduce us by name to the waiters, he definitely didn't make up our names, so we have no clue where they got the name Allen.

The hotel was everything the reviews (and Bill) said it would be. It was beautiful, clean and romantic. It was without a doubt, the perfect honeymoon. We met some fun friends (shoutout!) whom we have stayed in touch with and actually seen since our honeymoon. We stayed up late (not taking baths. But it did look pretty! and smelled like roses!) and ordered room services just because we could (note: breakfast sausage at 2a in Mexico may turn out to be vienna sausages) and we watched Mexican Hatfields and McCoys (which is a great series if you haven't gotten into it).  We showed up at the pool every morning at 9a and our waiters would bring by our morning pick me up. (Mom, you'll be glad to know we were the only people at the resort who ordered diet cokes as their morning pick me up instead of tequila...obviously that is an afternoon pick me up! i kid, i kid). At 11 every day they hosted water aerobics. Right in front of our chairs at the pool. And every day at 1050 they would say "so today you do aerobics?" and every day at 1051 we would say "not today, maybe tomorrow" and then our waiter would bring us our lunch, which I have exhibited here. Yes, every day for lunch we ate exactly the same thing at exactly the same time. every day. and it was wonderful.

Every day we picked out an activity to do the next day - we had high hopes of kayaking, scuba diving, yachting -  but for some reason every day our only activity ended up just being us telling the pool staff we would participate in water aerobics the next day because we were too  busy chowing down on delicious burgers and watching aerobics today. Oh wait, that's false. We did venture off property to Happy Hands Massage Parlor for a massage, and Bill did hold some sea turtles close to his face before releasing them. I only took pictures so as not to contaminate my hands with salmonella.

Watching the little turtles was really a cool experience and I was quite proud of myself for only telling the story of the Arabian who asked me if I wanted to see his turtles at Myrtle Beach only a few times to strangers. My arabian accent is pretty cool if you are curious about it.

So this brings me back to my original point. Luggage has been for sale on Rue La La a few times lately, and we do have free shipping. Turns out, since Mexico ended up being a dream instead of the nightmare I knew it would be when the drug cartel came for us, we decided to go back again this year with Bill's whole family! I found some  beautiful luggage we should purchase, one bag for each of us since you know, we get a free checked bag per ticket. But Bill said no, we would just get his luggage from his dad's house and use that. Luckily for Bill, whether we use his luggage or buy new luggage, he gets his own bag this time. And more than one or two pairs of hankies for the week.

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