Monday, November 1, 2010

An Ode to Myself (on my birthdizzy)

In honor of my 28th birthday, I have chosen to divulge 28 facts (get it? one for each year of my life) that you may or may not know about myself.

1. I really, really love the smell of rubber cement, gasoline and new books. I am well aware that one or all of these things may lead to dead brain cells, but they all smell delicious to me.
2. I would totally go on a date with Nelly. But he would have to wear the band aide as I find it incredibly sexy.
3. I feel like every party should have a piƱata, NO MATTER what the occasion.
4. Additionally, I feel like every party should have midgets. They make everything much more fun and anyone who says they don’t is lying.
5. When I was 5, my pre-kindergarten teacher told my mom I was never going to have any friends because I was too bossy. Here’s the thing: clearly those 5 yr old punks (and my teacher) needed someone to tell them what to do.
6. I once slammed an ex-boyfriend’s car door so hard that it broke and never shut properly again. He deserved it.
7. My brother made me so angry one time that I told him to get out of the car, and he did. I left him in Chapel Hill, NC with a dead cell phone on the corner of the road. I still don’t feel badly about it. he eventually found his way back to Raleigh (a good 30 minutes away via car).
8. Speaking of me being angry, my sister and I had a fist fight about her prom dress. I sent her to work with a bruise the size of an orange on her arm. She wore the prom dress I selected and she won prom queen. She should be forever grateful.
9. I believe in dessert after every meal.
10. Everything in my life either does or would (if it were still in production) point back to a Seinfeld episode.
11. I sponsor a child in Tanzania. It’s amazing how little money it takes to ensure she has an education, clothes on her back and clean water. Getting letters from her fills my heart with more joy than sometimes seems possible.
12. I have surprisingly tiny feet and fingers.
13. I love the way eucalyptus smells. I’d love to have a spa shower that sprays out eucalyptus smells.
14. My fave home cooked meal consists of green beans from my mama’s garden, potato sally and cheeseburgers on the grill. Banana pudding for dessert.
15. I have a fortune cookie fetish and if I don’t like the fortune I receive, I will ask for another cookie until I get one I like.
16. I don’t believe in horoscopes or psychics, BUT I do read my horoscope daily and visit the psychics every chance I get.
17. I have a collection of homemade CDs and one of them has approximately 15 Mandy Moore songs in a row. I know every word.
18. I was a synchronized swimmer in college. Yes I was.
19. I have been told I’m like Sally from “When Harry Met Sally.” I’m the worst type of maintenance because I don’t actually think I am high maintenance. I’m just a different type of maintenance.
20. I hate surprises.
21. I love wearing bright pink lippy.
22. I used to want to go to clown school. Part of me still does.
23. I have won more than one costume contest. The best win? When I entered last minute in nothing but a bathing suit cover up and flip flops and said I was a bathing beauty.
24. I tell the funniest and most amazing pirate jokes you’ve ever heard.
25. Waking up in the mornings hurts my feelings.
26. Taking a shower is way too much effort most days.
27. All I really want to do is be a New York Times Best Selling Author.
28. If I had a real muff, I’d wear it every day. Even in the summer.

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