this past weekend was spent with 24 other young adults from my church in a giant house on the lake in the boonies of north cackalack. and in true, second home style, this one boasted some interesting decor, furnishings and design (not to mention the fact that the room i stayed in had 4 or 5 double beds. like an orphanage). I have supplied some images to enhance your abilities at imagining this estate. please note: i failed to snap any pics of the elevator, which is odd since i actually spent a fair amount of time in it (and yes, you can bet i shared the story of the time i got kicked out of the food elevator at the bar in charlotte).
we'll start with the bidet. everyone knows these are only found in the most luxurious of bathrooms. and since they provide gentle cleansing (seriously. please google bidet), i'm sure it got quite a workout this weekend.
now. just in case you thought luxury stops with bidets, you should probably consider thinking again. for now, luxury comes in the form of a urinal, right next to granite counter tops. and no ma'am, you are not at the rest stop in warsaw, nc.
the basement was extra curious to me, and proof that i watch too much criminal minds. in addition to the full service kitchen and billiards room that made up the basement, there was a corner room, all cinder block of course, with twin beds, a freezer and a work table. none of this sounds strange until you take a moment to really look at some of the aforementioned items:
Notice the pad lock? Obviously the only things that could be worth locking up in a cinder block room are frozen body parts. and see that door? there are two pieces of wood on the right side that swing over and latch into that piece of wood on the left. you know, so not only do you lock the door but you also barricade yourself in while you're chopping people up on the work table.
in the attic I found only a bassinet. nothing at all creepy about that.
and last, but most definitely not least, my two fave decorative items in the entire house:
a tee tiny porcelian toilet. too big for a doll house, yet not big enough for a real house. it's only practical use is to hold your cleaner wipes. and maybe a roll of toilet paper here and there. and then of course we can't forget the donkey with the giant schlong. make of that what you will.
i can't wait until i have a second home. people tell me i'm weird now. just you wait until i hit it big.