Monday, October 8, 2012

30 words of wisdom (before i turn 30)

As many of you are quite aware, my 30th birthdizzy is just around the corner. I have been reading up on the things you need to do before you turn 30 and the things you can't do once you turn 30 for quite some time now, and I gotta be honest. I am over it. For awhile there, I believed all the hype. I was the one bemoaning that I couldn't believe I was turning 30 as a single, childless woman. I never saw myself here. And then I realized: why shouldn't I be excited to be turning 30 as a single woman with no kids? I have no restraints! No restrictions. I can continue to do me for a little while longer. And I have embraced this season of my life. I mean, if I am like a fine wine (and that I am), then I am only going to get better with age. If my 30s are supposed to be better than my 20s, then I am in for one helluva a ride. My 20s have been nothing short of fantastic. I've learned a lot about love, a lot about family, and a lot about friends. But mostly, I've learned a lot about who I am.

So, in honor of my 30th birthdizzy that is just around the corner (Nov. 1 for all of you with short term memory loss), I have supplied you with my list of 30 life lessons to abide by before you turn 30. This list was created by my own trial and error and the lessons I have had to learn over and over the past few years.

1. Eat that extra eclair if you want it. What you don't want is to be 85 and wishing you had had that extra eclair.
2. Don't buy a house just to feel and look more responsible. That's a big commitment and can keep you landlocked. Plus, you have the rest of your life to own a home. Someone may remind you that you are throwing away your money every month by renting but what you're not doing is fixing your toilet every time it breaks. You've got a landlord to call for that mess.
3. It's not the end of the world to stay out too late on a school night, go to McDonald's every weekend on your way home from the bar or not wash your face before bed. This may lead to someone thinking the only way you function is because you're a coke head, but it really just may be you soaking up all that life has to offer someone in your shoes.
4. Realize that the words "we need to talk" aren't an effective way to start a business discussion or a personal discussion. And that marking emails as "urgent" just makes people want to hit the delete button.
5. Learn how to ask for a raise in a way that results in you actually getting a raise.
6. Learn to defend yourself and learn that it's ok if defending yourself is something you'd rather not do. Stop apologizing for your choices.
7. Learn to let go of (and move on from) the bad relationship, the negative friendships and the job that didn't turn out to be your dream job after all.
8. Go into debt. I understand not having debt is ideal, but I also understand how great once in a lifetime experiences can be. And really, it's not worth missing out on that trip, that massage or that really great pair of boots. Just don't justify it every weekend.
9. Date around. Get to know different kinds of people, even if that means having dinner with a hippie who lives in a camper out by the lake.  And eat a lot of free dinners.
10. Break your own rules. The rules you made for yourself when you were 22 might not apply to you anymore once you're 28. So break them, and then re-evaluate. And adjust accordingly.
11. Do something spontaneous. You may end up walking the streets of Harlem at 2am, but you're probably a lot safer than your parents think you are.
12. Invest in your company's 401(k). Just because I believe in investing in myself doesn't mean I think it's OK not to save.
13. Learn to appreciate a fine wine and a 5 star restaurant. And then go to the hole in the wall and appreciate it all the same. And if you don't like beer, own it. There are others out there like you.
14. Lighten up. If you stick to a plan and don't enjoy what you've got right in front of you, you're going to miss out on a lot.
15. Realize that you probably aren't needy, you're probably just a person with emotional needs.
16. Find a workout that you enjoy. In theory, running a marathon sounds so badass. Unless you really just hate running. So if you're going to spend time working out, you might as well enjoy it.
17. Stop comparing yourself to everyone else. No one else is you and you don't need to feel any pressure to be somewhere other than right where you are.
18. Deactivate Facebook for awhile. I promise you'll still be popular when you return but I also promise that the peace of mind you'll experience during your "deactivation phase" will be enough to make you question returning to Facebook at all.
19. Learn to cook. I fully believe everyone should be able to put together a quick meal based off the ingredients in their kitchen.
20. Stop saying you're going to do something and just do it. If you want to lose weight, change your habits. If you want to learn a new sport or hobby, sign up for it. If you want to go back to school, they accept students every spring and every fall. Just stop saying you're going to do something that you really don't intend to ever actually do.
21. Learn to lay. Even if it is grammatically incorrect.
22. Learn the difference between your and you're and their, there and they're. And use those differences.
23. Embrace your Bieber fever or your fascination with Miley Cyrus. Realize that you may actually be more immature as you get older, and that's not always a bad thing. You're really not weird.
24. Go to church. There's one for everybody out there.
25. Understand that you may  not have it all figured out and you're not a loser if you're having a harder time figuring it out than your friends.
26. Go to therapy. Even if you don't think you have issues, you probably do. And therapy is a wonderful gift.
27. Vote. I know you don't think your vote really matters but what does matter is that if you're American, you have a right that a lot of people in this world literally die over. And you should exercise that right.
28. Stop making excuses and blaming your circumstances or other people. Learn to own up to your mistakes and learn to apologize.
29. Find out what really makes you happy and what you like and don't like. You really don't have to eat sushi just because it's trendy or pretend like you think skinny jeans on dudes look good.
30. Be patient. Stop being so hard on yourself. Stop wishing this time away. Things will eventually go your way and you'll eventually get your break.

1 comment:

  1. This is SO you and SO wonderful! Happy 3-0 friend!!!