this morning, i was on a conference call with several people, one of whom I used to date. When I say used to date, I really mean my friends hated him so much they had an intervention. They sat me down and told me if I continued to date him, they wouldn't be able to be my friend anymore. That's how large of a tool this dude was.
Over the years, we've exchanged a few pleasantries. Nothing big. It's actually sort of become a joke that I was so enamored with this guy. A few weeks ago, his manager and I were out at an event together and he told me my ex was not only married now, but also had a baby on the way. He said I should congratulate him since no one, especially me, ever thought he would get to this point in life. I said I would the next time I was on a call with him. I mean, the last thing I need is for this guy to think I'm still pining over him all these years later and have taken to stalking him just to get my fix. Because let's be honest: I don't need no fix.
Today, I congratulated him. It went a little like this:
me: hey, congratulations on the baby!
him: uhh, thanks.
me: that's so exciting. when is it coming?
him: not really sure.
me: oh. well when is your wife due?
him: again, not really sure.
NOT REALLY SURE WHEN YOUR WIFE IS DUE? When I say an awkward silence fell over the call, what I really mean is no one made a sound and we all sat there for a full three minutes in total and complete silence until the last member of the call dialed in and broke the ice. I am fully aware that he could not be sure because there are so many things that can happen with a baby. However, I will say that he probably decided he wasn't sure because he thinks I am stalking him. How else would I know that there was a baby on the way, let alone that he had a wife?
Clearly, it has nothing to do with his manager and is all because I am Harriet the Spy.