Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Give me some of your nutrisystem. seriously.

I know what you're thinking, and I agree. Why in the heck would I have a picture with the HOFF? Don't worry, I don't. For this is a pic of Joe Montana. I mean, Dan Marino. As you can see, I am a bit more dressed up than him. He asked me on a date and I misunderstood that just because he has lots of money did not in fact mean he was going to wine and dine me.

About 3,5 years ago, I met Dan Marino. My old boss is good friends with him and he announced that Dan would be in the office for our dreaded Tuesday meeting that week. Now, this was awesome because it gave me something to look forward to. Just in case you're confused, every Tuesday we had an all day meeting and if it was Tuesday, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Even when I got back in the bed and climbed out the other side, I was still ill as a hornet as long as the name Tuesday was in my vocabulary. However, on this particular Tuesday, I woke up sunny side up and got all decked out. I'm pretty sure I had never gotten that dressed for work before that day, or ever since (ok, that's false. Any time I have known beforehand of a cute office boy, I've gotten dressed complete with my naturally sunny disposition). Now, at this company also worked a former NFL player who not only is extremely good looking, but is also extremely nice. He too was good friends with Dan and loved to tease Dan on his lack of Super Bowl rings or some other big ole ring football players get that may or may not be encrusted with diamonds.

On this special day, I shimmed around the office. I had gotten my beauty sleep the night before so as to look my best for Danny Boy. Only, I thought his name was Joe. W, the former NFL player/saporous co-worker of mine, met me at the copier and just laughed and asked if I wearing lip stick. yes, yes I was indeed wearing lip stick. Bright, red, lady of the night lipstick. It brought out the green twinkle in my eyeballs. I just replied that I was because I had to look good for Joe Montana. W. I think took pity on me and instead of laughing at me, he just explained that I was not meeting Joe Montana but Dan Marino. Like I knew who Dan Marino was. Please.

Dan Marino came in, pretty much fell in love with me, winked at me across the table and then left to play golf with my boss. I didn't even have to do my sexy walk for him! As soon as he left the meeting, I announced to the room that he had winked at me. Later that day, W. told Dan Marino that I caught him winking at me and Dan DENIED it! Wtf.

Dan came to the golf tournament this past May and my co-worker took a picture with him. She sent it to me to basically rub it in that Dan had moved on from me. Apparently he was appalled when they told him how I thought he was really Joe Montana. I cut her out, replaced the person hole with myself, and sent it back to her with the caption, "don't hate me because Dan Marino is still my boyfriend." It made it's way to my boss and now I am ashamed. well, not really.

i don't care what anyone says. Dan Marino winked at me, and I would gladly accept a wink from Joe Montana to go with my collection.

1 comment:

  1. This made me laugh. Your such an expert on all things football. You should contact ESPN to see if they need help with any commentary. You would be the BEST at it.