Thursday, August 26, 2010

No Follow Thru at the Drive Thru

My big brother, while recounting his trip to the Big Apple ( mentions a visit the Burger King where they ran out of biscuits. This reminded me of a day back in North Carolina when I visited what is sure to be the.worst.bojangles.ever. and of course, I felt the need to share it here.

When I was in college, my fave fast food of ALL TIME was Bojangles. I loved Bojangles. Bojangles in Raleigh saw the many sides of Merdeezy, and the many sides of her big brother as they went every day together, and usually had a fight of some sort while there. My junior or senior year (I don’t remember which), I was treated for an ulcer. My brother will tell you that I made this up. But I didn’t. I had stomach problems and although my blood tested negative for the bacteria (eww) carried by ulcers, my doc found it necessary to put me on prevacid, NOT Prozac like people think, and told me to lay off the fast food for 6 months. My grandmother and I shared war stories over our medicines since we were on the same ones. So, I sort of dropped Bojangles like a bad habit. Only, sort of means not really and as soon as my 6 months were up, badda boom, badda bing, bring bojangles to me!

(side note: in high school, a friend from church sat next to a Mexican boy. There’s no way to beat around the bush and try to be politically correct. He was from mexico and he was a boy. One day she brought in a biscuit and he asked her if it was a boHAHNGalees biscuit. Who needs to dangle from bojangle with they can hahng from bohanhg)

Anyway. At my last job, there was a Bojangles within walking distance, but it was a long walk and I’d rather drive and yak to my mama. I would sneak out of work often for an afternoon delight of fries and a sweet tea. One afternoon, after a particularly frustrating office experience, I just knew the only solace was a kids’ supreme meal from the bo. I got in my car and went to the drive thru, hollerin to my mama the whole way about my day. I got to the speaker box and told my boyfriend at the drive thru my order. He said “well, we don’t have any fries.” NO FRIES? You have got to give me a flipping break here dude. I was so angry at this that I said “I’ll see you at the window.” I drove up, he leans out and says “no fries. Sorry.” I asked him if he was trickin’. He said no, he wasn’t trickin. THEN THE ICING FOR MY CAKE ARRIVED. He says “and, um, well, we just ran out of supremes.” I seriously looked at him, looked around myself, looked back at him and said “am I not at bojangles? Home of chicken and biscuits?” he told me they had plenty of biscuits, just no chicken. I reminded him that they were also out of fries. My mama, still on the phone says in my earball very calmly – of course SHE is calm. She’s not the one trying to get a treat – “well, now I’ve heard it all. The bo has run out of chicken and fries.” I had to get off the phone with her. My face was about to explode off my neck.

I went back to work and told one of my co-workers, who happened to be good friends with the OWNER of that Bo, that he needed to call him up and let him know. Said co-worker just laughed and laughed and shook his head. Bojangles happens to be headquartered in Charlotte. It’s not like the workers couldn’t have driven down to the office and picked up some cutlets and some potatoes.

I think this officially might have been the worst day of my life. On this day, at that very moment, I fully understood why that crazy b in florida got arrested for calling 911 when McDonalds ran out of nuggets. When you’ve only got 1 thing on your brain, and that’s a snack, and a service provider can’t provide that snack for you, and you feel like your face might explode off your neck, then yes, that is an emergency. And it should be illegal. It’s false advertising. Building my hopes up and crushing my dreams all in one drive thru visit.

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