well, pin a rose on your nose

I've had several Christmas packages sent to my parents' house so I don't have to check bags on the plane. Today, I have this convo with my mom:

Me: mom, have any boxes been delivered?
Mom: no i don't think so. i don't see any.
Me: well Chukar Cherries show it being delivered on the track shipment.
Mom: well it's not here. Where did it get delivered?
Me: I don't know. It says it was delivered at 8:56a on Monday.
mom: ya know, I saw a FedEx sticker in my driveway yesterday. or maybe Monday. but i didn't know what it was for.
Me: are you serious right now? You know I'm having boxes delivered and you haven't been on the lookout? It's been TWO days mom.
Mom: well i couldn't read it. i don't even know where it is. I'll have to find it.
Me: fine. bye.

so i call FedEx and they say it was delivered to their address. So I call mom back and we have THIS convo.

me: the package was delivered to your house.
mom: yes it's here.
me: where was it?
mom: i dont know. i don't even know where it came from. but it's upstairs.
me: mom. why do you not know? why weren't you keeping an eye out? you have to be on the lookout for one on friday too.
mom: ok. well. pin a rose on your nose.
me: i'm so glad you're not a postal worker. you would really be terrible. are you sure the package is there?
mom: yes meredith. i told you it was here.

humpf. pin a rose on your nose.