When I was in 7th grade, I did a column in the newspaper called "Dear Gertrude." It was an Ann Landers type column but being that we were in 7th grade, the questions were somewhat sophomoric. Believe it or not, so were my answers.
My fave question?
"Dear Gertrude: How can I tell if this boy likes me back?"
"Dear ____ (my memory does not ring its bell): Yawn in his direction. If he yawns back, he likes you."
Poor middle school teachers. They were probably wondering why all these girls were walking around so tired and yawny.