This morning, while on the phone with my friend Emily, I got the urge for a donut. Earlier, while drying my hairdo, I had the urge for a sausage biscuit from the McDonalds, but after hearing a segment on one of the morning news shows about how un-meaty fast food meat is, I decided to stick with healthy and have an oatmeal breakfast of champions when I got to work. However, while driving into work, I decided the dunkin' it would be.
Did you know that the Dunkin' doesn't put it's donuts on the menu? They have bagels, coffee, and breakfast sandwhiches galore but not a single type of donut listed. Seeing that I have a history of getting along splendidly with drive thru workers, you know this went over well with me.
Dunkin' Man: What can I get for you?
Merdeezy: I want a chocolate glazed donut please.
Dunkin' Man: chocolate all the way through?
Merdeezy: Well, I don't know. I don't see any donuts listed on the menu!
Dunkin' Man: That's because they're not there.
Merdeezy: How am I supposed to know what kind of donut I want then if they aren't there?
Dunkin' Man: I don't know ma'am. Most people just know.
Merdeezy: I do NOT know. but i DO know that I want a chocolate cake donut with chocolate icing.
Dunkin' Man: that's a chocolate glazed donut like you just ordered.
you can tell this conversation was about to get out of control. I was thisclose to telling him I was from North Cackalacky and the Krispy K would NEVER treat me like this. Of course, they also would never not have what they are known for on their menu. I mean, it's Dunkin' DONUTS so why don't they put DONUTS on their menu? Is this some form of false advertising? I didn't go to Dunkin' Breakfast. I went to Dunkin' Donuts.
I really wanted to stamp my foot and poke my bottom lip out and suck my thumb, but I thought about how my coworker told me yesterday that I eat like an 8 year old and decided I shouldn't act like one too.
So I just said "yes, that is what I'd like. and a small sweet tea. and a blueberry donut too."
and all was right with the world. dumb dunkin' donut.