Tuesday, January 4, 2011

the fungus among us

Apparently, there's a chance I may be infested. I don't even know how to accurately describe my feelings on this subject. I have been a very sick little girl the past few days and decided to go to the Urgent Care this morning (rather, my mama told me to go "because a bug would have passed by now"). So I went and after telling the doctor my eating habits the past few days (oyster club meets on Thursdays and today is Tuesday), and having her push on my stomach some, she determined I might have a parasite.

yes. you heard. a PARASITE.

My first thought was regret. Regret for saying things like that a tape worm would be a good diet. I mean, we all know karma is a real bitch and perhaps this is what I get for saying things like I wouldn't mind having a tape worm or that bulimics might be onto something. My second thought was that I needed to vom. I mean, a parasite? That's really gross. I called my coworker and told her I felt like I needed to sit in a vat of scalding water. She said she felt like I should drink some bleach. I said yes, I should go ahead and kill myself since I might have a parasite. My third thought was that I have ALWAYS said you could get worms in your brain from eating pork. People have always made fun of me for my schools of thought but perhaps I am actually the one onto something. Except my parasite seems to live in my stomach. And I don't recall eating any pork recently. just an excessive amount of raw oysters. And, according to research, parasites are worms and not the little fleas like I thought. I am TERRIFIED of worms.

The results should be back in a few days. I called my sister to share my woes. Her response? "I'm sorry you're infested. I always knew you were the fungus among us."


  1. You certainly can get worms in your brain from eating undercooked pork.
    I quit eating sushi and raw oysters after I took microbiology. Ignorance was bliss.
    Get well soon!

  2. If the oysters infected you, what you probably have is a little bacterium we like to call Vibrio vulnificus. Since you're healthy otherwise and in good shape, they'll give you antibiotics and you'll be fine. FYI: if you were a 45 year old alcoholic man with the same infection, you'd be dead in less than 12 hours!! Here here for being a woman, eh!! Feel better soon :0)