Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Snuggly Snuggle Bear

This past weekend, I attended a Snuggie Bar Crawl. I was so excited to have an excuse to purchase a Snuggie (and to freely snuggle whomever I saw fit). I bought the only one left in Target and much to my surprise, it was an even better deal than anticipated as it had been returned and repacked, thus making it a whoppin’ 10 bucks. Now, I’m not sure what other Snuggies look like, but I AM sure that I would have selected this one from the masses if I had been given the choice. As soon as I had draped myself in my Snuggie (which by the way my phone kept auto correcting to spell “snuggle” in txts messages thereby making it even funnier and probably good material for texts from last night…"WHAT is a snuggle party?!"), I knew it was going to be a fabulous night. I quickly learned the following facts about life whilst wearing a snuggle.

1. Life in a snuggle causes you to sweat in nooks and crannies you weren’t aware you owned.
2. If you don’t belt your snuggle, you risk tripping over your feet. If you do belt your snuggle, you risk looking like a shepard.
3. You will hear the “eff” word a lot whilst people try to determine exactly who you think you are that you can wear your bathrobe to the bar.
4. You will be hit on more than you’ve ever been hit on before. Something about being wrapped in a giant blanket apparently turns men on.
5. If you are lucky like me, your snuggle will have a secret pocket that allows you to hit on yourself. Success for everyone!
6. Dance offs in a snuggle are a) so much harder, b) so much hotter and 3) so much funnier. Baking a cake already requires so much skill and snuggles can really jeopardize that skill.
7. Snuggles offer supreme comfort. You can wear nothing underneath, or be fully dressed underneath. Either way, you’re going to be comfortable.
8. Snuggles allow you to judge. All those other girls may look cuter in their heels, short skirts and boostiyay tops, but that whole getup screams high maintenance. A girl in a snuggle screams I am ready for bed which in turn tells potential suitors that you are their kind of date. They don’t have to do anything to impress you because you clearly could not care less about impressing them.
9. Snuggles allow you to have multiple personality disorder. I looked like an hippie Egyptian when the night started, and like a sweaty hippie trash snuggleopolous at the end of the night.
10. To expound upon point 8, being already dressed in a snuggle when you get home means you can walk over to your neighbor’s house and fall asleep on his couch. And he doesn’t even have to worry you’re going to be cold. Because you won’t be. At all.

No comments:

Post a Comment