Wednesday, January 11, 2012

the corn diet

[disclaimer: if you are my mother, or if you think girls shouldn't do, let alone discuss, gross things, then you probably shouldn't read this]

I've always heard that you really learn a lot about people when you travel with them. Well, you also learn a lot about them when you live with them. Kristin and I lived together for several years. We had a lot of fun watching Lifetime Movies, dancing in the shower for our peeping tom neighbor Don, hiding from our Michael Buble lovin, submarine car driving neighbor man and engaging in general debauchery. One afternoon, I opened the pantry to find an entire case of canned corn on the floor. Now, at the time, I wasn't really into corn. (I wouldn't say I'm really into corn now, but I at least will eat it on a Mexican sally here and there.) Finding this odd - I mean, neither of us were pilgrims, as far as I knew - I asked Kristin why she had SO much corn in our pantry. She looked at me like I was a lunatic (and later called me one when I told her she needed to get her cat under control. True Story) and told me she enjoyed eating corn.

"i don't eat corn because you don't digest it." I told her. (and obviously my not eating corn has nothing to do with cornhuskin' at good ole Meredith College).

Kristin hadn't considered this and we began debating the pros and cons of eating corn. What if, we pondered, you ONLY ate corn. For an entire week. What would happen? Would you have golden poos?

We needed to find out.

Now, if you know Kristin, you know that she is very beautiful and always had a plethora of men at her beck and call. We decided her friend Ken would be the perfect person to test out our theory. We called him up and with the promise of a date, he agreed to do it.

And then Kristin started dating his best friend. Needless to say, we never did find out what would happen if you only ate corn for an entire week.

No comments:

Post a Comment