mom and dad are in Miami for the weekend. Since I knew they wouldn't be blasting Will Smith from a boombox on their shoulders, I decided to give them some tips on how to have a fancy and fabulous weekend in Miami.
Tip #1: do not go skinny dipping. Last time I was in Miami, some of my friends got in trouble with the law for skinny dipping. And I don't need my parents following suit. Not to mention that's just gross.
Tip #2: do not become a kardashian just because you are in Miami.
Tip #3: go to the Delano. Have a drink by the pool. Perhaps engage in a dance off.
At 6p last night, mom called to ask if they could go to The Delano already. No, I told them. Stop being lame and wait until dark. At 7:30p, they called again to ask if they would be lame if they went on over. Go get dessert, I said, and then go by there.
This morning, I called to find out how their Delano experience was. Their response?
we aren't sophisticated like you. We walked through and saw it, then went to Walgreens. We had a better time at Walgreens.