Tuesday, January 3, 2012

monet. monay. moan-aye

When I attempt to do a 2011 in review, i keep thinking about that line in Clueless, when Cher is describing Amber to Tai. "It's like a painting, see? From far away, it's OK, but up close, it's a big old mess." I feel like that pretty much sums up my 2011. Actually, I'm sure to some of you, it sums up me, but that's for another day (hot mess say huh?).

I pretty much got schooled in 2011. I mean, I love school. My bucket list has 3 additional degrees on it. It's all this other schooling that I got this year. I got schooled in starting over. I got schooled in expectations. I got schooled in what really matters. And I learned a hell of a lot more about myself. I feel like if you could get a degree in yourself and your biznaz, then I should have 3 PhDs like Spencer Reid. Only mine would all be in Merematics.

2011 got started with a big change and a fresh perspective on the next chapter of my life. I feel like I spent the year drifting through space. learning the ropes of a new job. learning to really trust my Heavenly Father that His plan is perfect and good. Learning that sometimes an apology isn't really what I need. Learning a whole new element to forgiveness. Learning that my gut is worth believing in. Being immersed in true, deep, meaningful friendships. Discovering what I really am looking for. And who I want to be. Believing and understanding that there is value in things I hold dear. Learning more, understanding more, accepting more, loving more. Learning more how to be a servant to others. 2011 culminated the past few years of my life. 2011 shook me to the core, stretched me further than I've ever been stretched and challenged me more than I really cared to be challenged. (let's not do a repeat this year).

So maybe, 2011 really wasn't really such a big old mess. I think Cher was wrong now that I think about it. From far away it seems like a big old mess, but up close, it's really not a mess at all. now. let's go party with the hate-ians.

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