today, i received the following email in my Inbox:
What happened to your Facebook account??? I have a scoop for you ... Justin Bieber is going to be a freshman at Duke next year. :)
Now. This is cause for some alarm. The Biebs is going to Dook? I hate Dook. But I love him. Do I love the things that are wrong in this world? Was he trading in his purple sneaks for a pair puke blue high tops? I am shamed to admit that for a second I thought, "no way would he be able to get into Duke." Then I thought "omg, he's going to be RIGHT down the street from me! Think of all the places he'll be that I could be!" And then I thought "I bet that whore selena will be hanging out in durham a lot now too." And yes, I did imagine converting (with little ease, i should add) the Biebs into a UNC fan. I went through so many emotions in such a short time frame that my heart is still trying to recover.
So I decided to go to the source. I googled this nugget of info. Found absolutely nothing (except that several Duke players are fans of the Biebs. Well done assholes. Maybe you're not half as bad as I thought).
And then I received this email in my Inbox:
Ok, take a deep breath. And don't kill me. It was an April Fools issue! I'm so pissed!
Apparently the Duke Chronicle daily newspaper released an April Fools issue alerting students that the Biebs was on his was to Duke in the fall.
What a bunch of baloney! I've been punk'd! But a Dookie newspaper that I never even saw! From now on just call me right - I've always said they were nothing but assholes over there in Durham.