Friday, March 18, 2011

Gym Rules Part 1: What I wear starting now

my personal trainer is nothing but 77 inches of pure sex. and I do mean head to toe. despite fighting stomach cramps from the bad decision I made at Bojangles not 30 minutes before my workout, I instantly began planning my next outfit for the gym upon shaking his hand. I feel like my prom dress just isn't going cut it this time. nope. I have to prove to him that I enjoy working out and sweating and that I am not at all mesmerized by his charm and chiseled jaw. Clearly, the only thing that is going to make him want to squat for me is a thong leotard and leg warmers. Pretty much, I have to become Jane Fonda overnight. It's a good thing I believe in starving yourself for important occasions because if I keep eating out, I'm not going to be able to afford him. Additionally, it's a good thing that the wig I bought in college to play Jessica Simpson (and Cher) is called the "Jane Fonda." I'll have my mom ship it to me. Let's face it ladies. Some things are worth sacrificing for.

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